Better Off Dead

What my luck seems to be

2009-03-09T02:02:00.000-07:00

I finally found a girl and then it turns she decides to move on for no reason. Things were going great and then a new roommate came into the picture and I was out. I was told it was it was because I was jealous. Not that she was spending time with him. I wish I didnt love her. I wish it didnt hurt.

Dont Blink

2009-01-06T20:35:00.000-08:00

Time is a fleeting thing. Constantly in motion and never on my side. For a bit everything was going great moving smoothly. Then the hick-up. She suddenly starts to have fears and worries. Is it to simple for life to be easy for me? Maybe things will work out for a change.

A Strange Turn Of Events

2008-12-13T16:36:00.001-08:00

I have found out that my friends were right if I try the world will not stop turning. In fact it can be rather nice. For the first time in over four years I have found someone who makes me happy. Everything is still new and we are taking things slow. It is just odd how with this new person everything just seems to move so easily. I hope and that is new.

Life and Randomness

2008-11-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

Having feelings for you for so long but still the wonder of does she feel the same? And then a new girl, do I try or wait and see if something could be between us? I know you, your mind, your heart but whether yours feels the same as mine I haven't a clue. No knowing the wonder of could I be that guy for you? Should I stop these thoughts? Should I try with someone new or is that when you will make your move?

seeing if this will work

2008-09-28T19:20:00.000-07:00

I am writing this with my phone and just trying ro see if I might be able to make this work. Tonight I want to tell her. I need to ask her if for nothing else then for my own sanity. I know she likes someone I just hope it may be me but I fear that the answer is no.

A letter to you

2008-09-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

It feels like I have known you forever but I find new things everyday that seem to add more to the wonderfulness that is you. I always seem to lose the moment forget the words or simple watch you get in your car. You are brilliant. It is rare for me to find anyone that can keep up with my mind but somehow you do. You have a wall to protect you and hold you strong but I have seen through it. I have seen the gap and have made my way through to find the true beauty that is your heart. You make me happy, after a phone call where your just asking a simple question I have had a brighter day. Everyone see it the change. You make me want to be better and hopefully someday I could be the man that you deserve.

Trying to be more frequent

2008-09-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

Well this is suppose to help me figure things out with my life. My life has turned from something that I could say was planned, into this uncertain heep. I have been having feelings for a certain someone for a while now and I just seem to keep losing the nerve to talk to her about the one thing that I wish to say. We have had all types of conversations about everything that I can imagine but I have been unable to tell her that I like her, although I doubt that she is blind to it, heck I think the entire mall knows that I like her. She is one of those women that it is easy to fall for. She acts as if a wall surounds her but is fluff. She is one of the few girls I can have a conversation about almost anything and have her understand and contribute. I am going to tell her or ask her out soon. I will. I have to, I dont want to be alone and I could see us together. heres to hope.

Another Day Down

2008-07-24T02:17:00.000-07:00

There is always this constant theme in my blogs, the fact that women and me seem to be on two different paths, or at least they see the fork that approaches and with out me taking the steps forward find the bend. I have to realize that I need to say the words and take the steps or they will never stay.

The fear

2008-06-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

Today I saw one of my best friends get married. The list of single friends in my group besides me is one and he seem sto constantly have a girl friend. Why can't I even find a date? Sometimes the thoughts of always being a lone get to be too much. I need love. I need that special someone that completes my life and my heart. Where is she and why cant I find her?

Needing to take a stand

2008-05-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

Life has been passing me by because of the courage I seem to lack when it comes to women. I seem to sit and wait and think that if they want to date me they will ask. The timing is never right. I deserve happiness. I deserve love. So why do I keep it at bay when I find someone it could be? Why do I think I dont deserve to be happy?

2007-12-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have come to terms that it is me that has been sabotaging things with women and life. I have been trying to figure out why I dont think I deserve happiness, but I know I want it. I need to start fighting for myself as much as I would for someone I care about. Being selfless has gotten me to where I am now and it isnt where I really want to be. I want love. I want success. I want happiness.

2007-11-29T01:07:00.000-08:00

What is the part of my brain that doesnt want me to be happy? Why do I seem to be falling in to this constant cycle of not taking chances, and thinking that I will always fail? How can I fix this?

2007-11-27T17:56:00.001-08:00

The world moves along faster then most can type and so we are always playing catch up. Our hero has never been one of the smooth take the town by night leaving a trail of women in his wake. He is trying to just find his own little piece of this world and the part that will have him in it.

He has been having trouble with women lots will she him as friends but only a few will ever see him as anything more and it is usually after he has moved far away.

A few months back when he started working at the game store he came across a beautiful girl who worked next door, and of course as fate or whatever would have it, she was hired on for a few weeks. You see she was getting ready to move down to San Diego and go to college and be a biology major. Yes beauty, brain, and heart. On a day when Tim was at his worst she was there trying her best to bring him back up.

She up and went to school, off to be the better she could be. Oh well our hero is alone with the thoughts of something that never was but could have been.

Halloween or rather the weekend before, out for a walk and running into an old friend inviting into a bar for costumes and fun and running into more then just one random soul. Walking up to the bar to get a soda, yes a soda, our hero doesn't drink. At the end of the bar was a guy who had left town about six months before and had literally been in town about two hours. Shot the shit in time to turn around and standing in the corner with a huge smile was Melissa. Running up and gave Tim a huge hug. They spent the night talking, danced a little, a flirted the night away. She was back to San Diego in a day and was trying to get Tim to ditch work to spend the day together. But how could a hero do that and with a heavy sigh he went to work.

With that being the main thing our hero did. Get up go to work, go home, go to work, and so on and so on. Black Friday, the worst day in the whole year to work retail, but this year it wasn't so bad. Melissa was in town and came to work. Only there a few hour but time is time. After her leaving she forgot something and called Tim to see if he could bring it out to her. As he handed it through the open passenger window she asked if he wanted to go for a ride he just smiled and asked if she was doing anything that night unsure but the moment he walked out from the mall that eventing his phone rang. What does it mean when a girl will touch your tongue ring twice in one day? We spent the evening at a local bar with more talking and more flirting ending with me driving her and her friends home and Melissa giving me a huge hug again and lingered. She invited Tim to San Diego for her birthday on Thursday but knowing our hero he will call and wait for her to return in December.

2007-10-16T00:37:00.001-07:00

Life is full of change and it tries its best to give us thrills and adventure around every bend. There are time that we forget or fail to see the path laid out before us.

Yesterday Taylor called Tim asking him to go for a walk with her and her cousin Amber. Being that Taylor was the girl Tim had a crush on for the last year and had again failed at making his feeling clear or even know she went out and got a boyfriend. A sleaze named Christian who's last girlfriend broke up with him because he turned into a stalker and was following her around town convinced that she was cheating even though she wasn't. They have been dating a few months now and in that time Taylor and Tim have had very few days to talk and fill one another in on the events in their lives.

Tim had previously told Taylor about Dorthy and how he wanted to tell her about his feelings, so this time around Taylor asked him,
"You tell her yet that you like her?"
"Nope, when it come to telling a girl I like my feelings, I am a complete failure at it."
"I dont think your a complete failure."
"No trust me complete failure."
"Tim I don't believe that you are a complete failure at it."

So the question begs, did she know of his feelings? Did she know of his intent and just not share it so said nothing? Or is he really that bad at expressing it that she has totally no clue?

A funny side note a few weeks back Chris, Taylor's mother was shooting at her with an air soft gun. Taylor yelled for help and instead of yelling for Christian she yelled, "Help Tim!!" That had to help the old ego for Christian when your girlfriend calls out another mans name to protect her.

2007-10-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

And more on the continuing adventures of our hero Tim. Tim has never been one that the universe lined up and handed him him anything. He has been one that has had to fight up hill both ways. With our hero with the over active hero complex love has always been the most precious and is the one thing that seems to keep at arms reach from him.

With his current adventures with Dorthy it seems that timing and deciphering what she means before it is too late has to be his current problem. When he asks her out to the movies she brings friends, he asks he to dinner for a friends birthday and she has to work which is followed by a text message where she wants to call in sick. If our hero was quicker in the ways of women he might have caught that before she was two hours before her shift ended.

Remember one thing hero, as the dark night grows thunderous there is a light at the end.

Music Meme

2007-10-08T01:57:00.000-07:00

What music are you currently grooving to?

Right now it would be Tim McGraw a place in the sun cd

What, if push comes to shove, is your all-time favorite album?
Beautiful Freak by the Eels

What was the first record you ever bought? And where did you buy it?
Monkees pool it

Which musician have you ever wanted to be?
I never wanted to be anyone in particular by wouldnt mind being a singer

What do you sing in the shower?
yes I do

What is your favorite Saturday night record?
My Zune on random

And your Sunday morning record?
same thing

Another One Over

2007-10-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness that it is now October. September has been a moth of pains and worries for the last I dont know how many years. This year my problems came from the cops and my jeep. They towed it because they wanted to. The cop that towed it took off my license plate so he could tow it.They were telling me that it was abandoned because it had no plate so that is the reason why they towed it. It cost me 300 to get my jeep back. They wanted me to file a claim that my plates were stolen, I didn't and now I have to file a complaint, and why do people hate cops?

Feast One Hundred and Sixty

2007-09-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

September 14th, 2007 | Category: The Feasts, 2007

Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?

For myself I havent been there in over 12 years

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?

I would like to say 7

Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)

SHIN she has interesting notions

Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?

friends no more

Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?

off white

What I Need To Say

2007-09-10T01:25:00.002-07:00

Tired of the confusion, tired of always being looked over for the next guy, the jerk , the ass, the guy who says he will call but never does. The guys who cheat, lie, will stand there bold faced and break your heart. The nice guy is here, attractive, smart, loyal, caring, trustworthy. A bit of a bad ass when the time calls for it. Can handle the situation if some other jackass wont back down. May not have a six pack, may not have tons of money but he does have two very important things, heart and potential. He acts with morals and ethics and has a bit of a hero complex and watches out for those he cares about. He is looking at starting two companies and even if he never makes a million dollars he does what he loves and is happy for it. Has great possibilities for unusual and wonderful experiences. So the only question left is will you take the chance? Will you see if you can love him? Could he be the one? Could you?

Well Here I Go Again

2007-09-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

And another adventure staring our hero Tim begins with a goodbye. But as we all know when a door closes one opens. He was saying goodbye to an old friend who was moving away and throwing himself a going away party. About half way through was when she showed up. Closing the sliding glass door, dressed in a tight, short, black dress, she turned and walked toward him. "Do you know where the man of honor is?" she asked him which he replied with a simple "Right here." She turned and gave him a welcoming hug then turned back toward Tim. "Do you know where I can put these?" she asked him referring to two bottles of champagne that she was holding. " Right this way" he said as he helped her with one of the bottles, and lead her to one of five coolers, he placed the bottles inside and started to stand only to have his knee kicked out from under him by his friend Steve "Go talk to her man." "I was" he replied as he started to stand back up.

He followed her back around to a set of chair. They shared through the introductions, the flirting, the banter, she got up more then one and always returned. Hours later when the night was coming to an end he gave her his number and said how "we have to go out sometime for coffee or something." Were she replied how she only text messages, where Tim replied how he texts all the time, it probably came out as cheesy and corny as it sounds here. As Tim was leaving he thought "I gave her my number but I didn't get hers, she'll call right? She was interested, she did keep coming back, she'll call." Two days passed where he told his friends of this beautiful, magnificent, intelligent woman. When pictures of the evening showed up on the friends myspace page and he was able to show proof, and the response was "she is not calling" They got him to call his friend to get her number and Tim remeber how she said she texts, so he text,
"I was wondering if you free on Friday?"
"May go see Superbad why whats up?"
"wondering if you wanted to do something"
"Want to go with us?"

Looking back this may have been the point where things went wrong, Tim should have suggested something with just the two of us, instead of a group thing where she is surrounded by friends, but that is the greatest thing about hind sight, you can look back and see thing from more then just the angle you are looking at. Super bad got canceled because Dorthy didn't get off of work until after the last showing started, so Tim offered her another night but Dorthy was unsure about her schedule and couldn't commit to a day.
"Well another time" Tim replied.
When Friday came around he got a message.
"You want to go to Meatball Magic tonight"

She had messaged him, asking him out. He had no clue what the night might bring but she had asked him. In the end she was late over an hour, the club was a gay bar and the date involved her friends. Okay maybe she wanted to get her friends input before committing to a date, or a what do you thing. On Tuesday she messaged him asking him to go to the movies but he had to work and then on Thursday she messaged.
"You coming tomorrow?"
"Where and when?"
"Same place as last time about 9:30"
"Sounds good"

9:30 turned in to 10:30 and that to about 11. Se never said anything about anybody else, will she be alone? Could this be a date? Does she like me? She has to right call me this much right?
And then she walked through the door, wearing the same wonderful black dress that she wore the night they met, and behind her was another guy. "Hey Tim" she said with a large smile leaning forward to give him a hug. " This is my friend Jeremy" and there it was another friend who was there for the evening. Wonderful how was he suppose to take her out if they were never alone? As the evening went on Jeremy was a very cool guy and Tim was sure that they could be cool friends. At one point this army reject walked up to Dorthy and said "You like money"
"Excuse me!?!"

"Your Asian, your into that sort of thing, come check out my car" as he walked to the door all three followed to look at some newer model Mercedes. They went back to the bar and the seating order was Tim, Dorthy, and the jerk. They guy was trying to tell her some stupid thing about tis or that and she turns to Tim and says in a very ticked off voice "I am going to the can" and turns and walks off. Asshole at this point leans off and says to Tim "She is smokin" "Yeah I know" and a look that follow was one that told the guy I will not back down and I can take you in a fight. He blinked and turned to Jeremy,"So you gay or bi?" "No man I am straight""Oh cool man I hear ya" and the thought of having to kick his ass from coming on to anybody arose in Tim's mind.

A few minutes later when Dorthy returned taking her seat again she turned to Tim and said "It is getting cold in here" Tim wearing a open button up shirt and one under neath took off the button and put it around her shoulders. Leaning in she whispered "Thanks but be careful he might try to jump you or something." "After years of self defense classes I have nothing to worry about from him." Tim looking back up at the jerk and couldn't help but laugh. Butt face realizing that no one was talking to him got up and walked out of the bar leaving the three to further make fun of him.

By the end of the evening at the bar Tim had saved Jeremy form doing a few stupid drunk things and stared and smiled with Dorthy. When the bar closed she suggested Taco Bell and Tim followed her as she drove ahead. The only thin open at that time of night is te drive through so when they were all done ordering they pulled over and Tim got into the back seat while they were in the front laughing and telling stories from each past. As Dorthy's eyes were crawling shut she said how she needed to go to sleep. Biding them all a good night and giving Dorthy a hug Tim got back into his car and drove home. On the drive home one thought was playing through his mind, "Fuck!!! I'm in the friends category again!"

Following Tish

2007-09-03T01:19:00.000-07:00

Where is your cell phone? hip
Relationship? hopeful
Your hair? messy
Work? cool
Your sister? a pain
Your favorite thing? friends
Your dream last night? weird
Your favorite drink? water
Your dream car? delorean
The room you’re in? crowded
Your Shoes? off
Your fears? something just isnt right
What do you want to be in 10 years? Happy
Who did you hang out with this weekend? Dorthy to start it off right
What are you not good at? asking for help
Muffin? blueberry
One of your wish list items? Love
Where you grew up? Hanford
Last thing you did? played video games
What are you wearing? Clothes
What aren’t you wearing? nothing
Your pet? not mine
Your computer? cool
Your life? is getting better
Your mood? hopeful
Missing? contentment
What are you thinking about right now? Her
Your car? broken
Your kitchen? dark
Your summer? almost over
Your favorite color? midnight blue
Last time you laughed? a few hours
Last time you cried? been a while
School? going back
Love? I hope

Here We Go Again

2007-09-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

Yup it is that wonderful time of the year, September. For the last oh countless years september has been a month full of different crap and heart ache. Lets see my ex dumped me after seven years, was laid off and told that I was her best friend by a different girl. It has just seemed that this month is one that laves me with crap to clean up for next year.

Last night I had a date with a girl I really like. It was more for her a chance to let me meet her friends and see what they think of me. I had alot of fun but would have been more happy if it had just been the two of us. We'll just have to see what happens next

Another Day Another Time

2007-08-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

I think the universe is starting to find it's way back into line. I have had this feeling that things have been off . Went to a friends going away party and met an amazing girl. Not only is she amazingly beautiful, intelligent, and have morals and values. We were suppose to go out tomorrow but she cant get out of work. We text back and forth, I just refuse to end up in the friends category again.

Monday Melee for 8/27/08

2007-08-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) that you absolutely hate.
The fear of rejection, the fear is ten times worse the the actual rejection.

2. The Meritricious: Expose someone or something that’s phony, fraudulent, or bogus. My neighbors boyfriend, he is a creep and a stalker

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with. I am unhappy with my throwout bearing for my jeep's clutch. It has been replaced but still doesn't work

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can. Thank you Steve and Roo for making me get Dorthy's number from Levi

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it. I am a kind person

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for. I wish for a girlfriend

Fours

2007-08-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

4 jobs I’ve had:

Theater Tech
TV Producer
Construction
Video Game sales

4 films I could watch over and over:

The Princess Bride
Back To The Future
Star Wars (Original)
Shawn Of The Dead

4 Places I have lived:

Hanford, Ca
Sevierville, Tn
Land O'Lakes, Fl
Pompano Beach, Fl

4 Favorite TV shows:

Smallville
Doctor Who
Burn Notice
Monk

4 Favorite Foods:

Pasta
Shrimp
Chinese
Mexican food

4 Websites I visit everyday:

Myspace
Yahoo
Hotmail
Iwon

4 Places I would love to be:

In a theater
at the beach
florida
a sleep

4 Favorite Colors:

midnight blue
hot pink
black
moss green

4 Names I love but would/could not use for my children:

Cameron
Scarlett
Clark
Bruce

Down in the Dumps

2007-07-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

For the last week I have just been in a funk that I cant shift. It has just been a crappy month, first I was sacked from my crappy job but at least it was some funds. My jeeps clutch is out and I have been having a heck of a time removing two of the bolts and then the fact that the girl I like fancies someone else. And this someone else is well for lack of better words a stalker and otherwise just plain creepy. Why is it that I seem to fall fast for the ones that dont even know I exist?

Seven Random Facts

2007-07-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Tish for the Seven Random Facts meme. Lets see what I can come up with.

The Rules:

Players start with 7 random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog posts with their 7 things as well as these rules.
You need to tag 7 others and list their names on your blog.
Remember to leave a comment for them letting them know they have been tagged and to read your blog.

Without further ado, here are my seven random facts.

I familiarize myself way to much with the Doctor from Doctor Who.
Even though my jeep breaks down every now and then and is old I dont think I could ever sell it.
When I blog on here it is mostly for myself because I believe only Tish reads it.
I get crushes easily but will usually find out more info before even trying anything.
I find out that women I have liked have liked me after I have moved away from them.
I have a thing about being around people who are not single and have a hard time finding single people.
I have a hard time with medications because I become adapted to them quickly.

I got the belt

2007-06-29T00:46:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was one of my oldest friends, Patrick's wedding. First a thing about Patrick, he is one of the sweetest, nicest guy anyone could ever hope to know, and yesterday was he and his now newly wifes day. There was a picture montage before the cerimony began showing them both through the years. It was an eye opening because it made me think of how much I had missed from his life and how I missing having someone in mine.

At the reception I found a table where I actually knew someone. It was an old friend who I have know since kidnergarden and when I think of how long ago that was I feel really old. Her husband was one of the groomsmen so he was seated elseware. It was a great dinner and when it came to start the dancing the dj proved to be like every other dj I have ever seen at a wedding or reunion. Let just say I had to save him twice because he didnt know how to work an ipod. I wont bother making a stament about his levels, the eq or other things because I tried my best to zone out on those things and just have a good time.

Dancing, it started of slow where we would just almost stand there while he played some oldies and do some funny dances. The scary thing was that I knew so many from having worked Buddy Baxster for two years and watching it everyday.

So I went and sat down for a while and they started the whole flowers and belt tradition. When they called all the bachelors up there I think I may have been the only straight one. So I caught it and sat back down. First off I have to apologize if there was another straight guy because it is suppose to mean that I am the next to get hitched and I havent even found a date. Although I did see someone who was just mesmerizing. Finally just got out there and started dancing and we were talking a little when Jen came over and introduced us(Jen love ya) This girl was a ball of energy and at one point asked me if I knew what dance we hadnt done yet, when I said no she started doing the electric slide. Didnt get to talk too much with her but did end the night with a slow dance.

It was wonderful evening and I am thankful to have been there, thank you guys.

Tish said I would

2007-06-19T13:25:00.000-07:00

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My father picked my name not know it was my mother's older brother who had past

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? with tears a while, just the emotion of wanting to a few days

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It could be better but I am a guy

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? honey baked ham

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No but I do live with a family with 3

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I dont know it might be too much for the universe

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Nah never

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? sure

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? cheerios

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? yes

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? strawberry freeze

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? eyes and hair

RED OR PINK? Red

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My inability to tell girls I like my feelings

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My mom

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? gray shorts and vans

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? pasta

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Roo playing Viva Pinyata

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? midnight blue

FAVORITE SMELLS? Vanilla or strawberry

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Steve

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I would rather play

HAIR COLOR[S]? Light brown but now it is red

EYE COLOR? Blue

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No just glasses sometimes

FAVORITE FOOD? Italian or Mexican

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? depends but can I have the happy ending

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? la4er cake

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? gray

SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter

HUGS OR KISSES? yes PLEASE

FAVORITE DESSERT? cheese cake

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No one

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Kevin Smith I liked Tish's answer, Sorry Kevin

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?Doctor Who attack of the Cybermen

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? no mouse pad

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? no tv went to starbucks with friends

FAVORITE SOUND[S]? soft whispers and laughter

ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES? The Beatles

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I have been back and forth from coast to coast

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I am a man of many talents

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Hanford, Ca

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? anyones

Monday Melee for 6/11/07

2007-06-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) that you absolutely hate. I hate the fact that everyone always expects me to be happy, cant I just have a day where I

2. The Meritricious: Expose someone or something that’s phony, fraudulent, or bogus. My bad guy attitude, sorry she said I needed to act more for my self and this is what she wanted, and maybe it will change the wy she sees me.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with. I'm unhappy with me. I have found too much of myself in tv characters lately and although they are good characters the qualities I am finding arent.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can. Sharon for being a good friend and trying to help me move in the right direction

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it. My mind is capable of all kinds of creative and unimaginable ideas, but it seems to dwell on hopes and wants of things that cant be.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for. I wish for a normal life

Feast One Hundred & Forty Seven

2007-06-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

{Featured Flickr Feast by matzoe}

Appetizer
What do you consider to be the ultimate snack food?

chips they are simple

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), about how popular is your last name?

1 my name is rare and easy to misspell

Salad
Who is your all-time favorite sitcom character, and why?

I would have to say right now it would be The Doctor from Doctor Who. i find alot of myself in his personality, what can I say he is a smartass and so am I.

Main Course
Do you shop online? If so, name some sites you like to browse for goodies.

I use ebay every now and then

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I think ___________ should be ___________.

I think my life should be easier.

Tired and Hurt

2007-06-08T16:02:00.000-07:00

Well I have gone and done it again. Yup because of my inability to tell the girl I like that I like her, she has gone and got with another guy. Her ex came into town, I hated this guy before. He is am ass. This is just further proof of how nice guy finish. I am tired, lonely, and broken. She feels stupid for doing it, even without my emotions and feelings brought into the equation. I dont know if she knows but she could. I have been strong the last week, when she asked him if she was worth fighting for he said "uh yeah." I told her how he was wrong, she wasnt worth fighting for, she was worth dying for. Sometimes I just wish I could.

Monday Melee 6/4/07

2007-06-05T00:27:00.000-07:00

Tish did it so now so will I

1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) that you absolutely hate. How women like the bad boy but complain about wanting to find a nice guy

2. The Meritricious: Expose someone or something that’s phony, fraudulent, or bogus. Paris Hilton

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with. My love life wait I dont have one

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can. Bill Gates for the x-box 360 it is great

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it. My broken heart, hope is the ultimate torture when it doesn't happen

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for. I wish for love, someone who I can hold and the cares of the world will leave us both. And if "she" was the one to figure it out even better.

More for Tish

2007-06-03T12:34:00.000-07:00

Tish wanted me to go on about psychic visions.

I have always been spiritually adept. I can find ghost and sometimes tell what they are feeling. Working in theaters there is usually a stage ghost and it is an easy way to mess with the cast.

A few years a go now I lived with a psychic and if I thought I had seen some crazy things before it ws nothing compared to him. He would have sayonces (sorry cant spell and spell check cant find it) where this old white guy became black. The pigment in his skin would change and a face would over lay his own. Well he was helping me control what I could do and focus. Now I get flashes, short clips of a scene. For instance the girl I like she was talking about her ex(1. I don't like like him. He is an ass. He can spend $700 on a pair of jeans but cant pay for a pair of movie tickets. 2. I don't like him) and I got this vision of her and him fighting and her getting mad enough to through her cell phone and break it. I asked her if she throws things when she get mad and she just wanted to know how I knew.

I am good at knowing a persons character when or even sometimes before I meet them. This use to drive my ex crazy. I would tell her how this person is acting like "A" because of "B and C" and it would take sometime for their true colors to show but I was usually right.

My biggest problem is sometimes the images come on too fast like a tidal wave and nothing makes sense. All it does is make me light headed.

The Eternal Friend

2007-06-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

Is it my place? I can find the girl of my dreams and in the end I am nothing more then a friend, sometimes the "best friend". I always get that "I dont want to ruin our friendship". Too late that though has changed the way we see one another. Why am I the one that the girls always run to when the guys are jerks or asses. But when the tears clear I am still far from their view. They all say how they want a nice guy but run for the assholes. Yes I am jealous, yes I am mad. I am tired of being just a friend.

Random Facts

2007-05-21T22:22:00.000-07:00

I found this meme over at Tish's and I just couldn’t resist!

The Rules:

Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
Players should tag eight other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

The eight:

In high school I was the guy who knew everyone but was known by no one.
I have had two relationships in my life the last one ended over two and a half years ago and I haven't had a "date" since.
I know one single girl and she is moving soon, my friend and I wish more.
I moved out of my home town for nine years before moving back.
I am a great judge of character unless I think there is a chance the girl likes me, but of course I would know if she does until someone else tells me .
I am tired of being alone.
I have a thing for accents
I do have some psychic visions

Only in Dreams

2007-05-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

Last night I had three dreams, all were different with one exception. All had the same girl as my girlfriend. This girl I like and has made it clear that she doesnt want to have or even start a relationship. It doesnt matter the fact that we have fun together, the fact that the feels are there, that we both trust each other. It is enough to drive a man crazy, I wish she would change her mind.

Feast One Hundred & Forty One

2007-04-27T00:53:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
How fast can you type?
If I just sit and type I can get around 40

Soup
What is your favorite online game?
Halo2

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), how intelligent do you think you are?
It depends on what we are talking about, most things I would go with a 7 or 8 but women 2

Main Course
Name three of your best teachers from your school years.
Mr Delay, Mr Cavillaro, and Ms Regier

Dessert
What are your plans for this upcoming weekend?
maybe work on my clutch yeah big plans

Interviewed By Tish

2007-04-25T02:56:00.000-07:00

1. What's the one thing that most confuses you about women?
That one is simple, they always say how they want one thing and always go after the opposite. They want the nice guy so they date jerks. They want some one to treat them like "A" and then goes after a guy who does "B". And then there are the ones who have actually used the break up line "you are too nice".

2. How would you describe your perfect woman?
This is one of those loaded questions because no one is perfect until you love them, but I digress. My perfect woman, honest, loyal, understanding, smart, caring, understands that I am not a mind reader and I wont expect her to be. Someone who realizes that we learn everyday and change alittle too, and everyday we can find new reasons to fall in love all over again.

3. What's the most memorable date you've been on?
Well being the fact that I dont do alot of dating this one is simple, going to see Pulp Fiction when it was first released. We had no clue to what it was about just that it was getting great reviews. I told her that I was so sorry when the intermission came just after the needle to the heart. So just to let others know Pulp Fiction not a date movie.

4. Who's your favorite actress?
Natalie Portman I have loved her since the professional and being that I am only a few years older then her it isnt that creepy. She is extremely talented and has a classic beauty to her.

5. If you could have dinner with any living person, who would it be?
Being that I dont really care about meeting celebrities but I think asking to have dinner with my future wife so I can know who she will be is against the rules, I would go with Micheal J Fox.
I have been a fan of his since I was a kid and I think it is very admirable everything he has done since he became ill.

Feast One Hundred & Thirty Nine

2007-04-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

April 13th, 2007 | Category: The Feasts, 2007

{Featured Flickr Feast by amanky}

Appetizer
When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite?

Blue

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move?

Not right now, I just moved back and I am having fun getting to know my friends again

Salad
Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. What’s the total?

Main Course
Have you ever “re-gifted” anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to?

Only at white elephant parties and it was some dvd

Dessert
Name something you need from the store.

Parts for my Jeep

Women Women ARGH!!!

2007-04-07T22:36:00.000-07:00

I am tired.Tired of all the mind games. Tired of all the what ifs and could be and would haves.be single and I want you arounds. Why cant it be simple, I like you you like me and we are good. The I want to tell you something no one else knows but I dont want to be in a relationship. I think I will head out to take a walk and maybe it will clear my head, I doubt it.

Thriteen

2007-04-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

My Thirteen All-Time Favorite Television Shows (in no particular order)

Quantum Leap
Veronica Mars
Monk
Firefly
Bullshit
Birds Of Prey
Doctor Who
Smallville
Dark Angel
Ally McBeal
The Monkees
House
Macgyver

What is going on?

2007-03-28T22:09:00.000-07:00

Okay for the last three days me and the "girl" have been working out everyday. Spending lots of time together and tonight there were many times where I was wanting to kiss her. I didnt but I definitely wanted to. She has been wanting to get back in shape to start modeling again. It has been so long maybe someday soon.

A bit of whats going on

2007-03-25T03:02:00.000-07:00

I have been mostly writing about life lately in my other blog, Solitary Man because it has caused alot of thinking on the part of this single guy. First off women drive me nuts. I never know how to go from being a friend to being more. There is a girl that I like and I think she likes me, I think and so do others, and this is frustrating. I hate the not knowing for sure, the wondering, the could bes, and the games my mind plays on me. The worst thing I can have is hope because my mind will run with it. There is this girl granted she is a bit of a air head but she will be the first to tell you she is. She is beautiful and fun to be around and she makes me happy. Right now everything is very innocent heck we haven't even held hands yet. It is nice to feel that hope again, I hope it works.

Things that Mystify Me

2007-02-25T13:35:00.000-08:00

Okay I saw this on Tish's page and liked it, five things that just confound me.

1. Women - They all say they want the nice guy , the sweet heart, the guy they can take home to mom when what they do find are the jerks and assholes.(sorry beginning to get bitter about being single)

2. Religion - Okay now what I am not going to talk about religion itself but more the hypocrites that go out promoting a way of life and then completely disregard it. "I want all of you to follow these rules but I can make up my own"

3. Recycling - A thing that was intended to do good but in reality causes more harm to the environment then to make things new. The land fills over flowing was a fraud, recycling anything but aluminum cans is costing us more.

4. Research in the government - Sorry it just confounds me.

5. How the Bears lost the Super Bowl - I dont follow football and it was driving me crasy watching them lose the way they did.

Feast One Hundred & Twenty Eight

2007-01-26T13:44:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
If you could take lessons to learn any musical instrument, which would you want to learn?
drums or piamo

Soup
Have you ever mistaken a person for someone else?
mostly that happens to me

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?
8 I try my best

Main Course
What's the closest you've ever been to a dangerous animal?
I have come up on a rattlesnake nest that was full

Dessert
When was the last time you lost your patience?
It has been some time I am usually really good at holding it in

Feast One Hundred & Twenty Six

2007-01-12T21:55:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
What comes to mind when you see the color orange?
My time in Tennessee, not sure if it was a good time or not, I lost too much when I was there.

Soup
Did you ever get in trouble while you were in school? If so, what was it for?
Naw I was always smart enough not to get caught

Salad
Which topping(s) make up your perfect pizza?
ham and pineapple

Main Course
Do you believe in UFOs/aliens/etc.? Why or why not?
sure do because there has to be intelligent life in the universe because there sure isn't on earth

Dessert
What color is your bedspread/comforter/quilt?
yellow

Feast One Hundred & Twenty-Five

2007-01-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
Which celebrity (or celebrities) do you think will make headlines this year?
Sorry but Britney has a past she is doomed to repeat

Soup
They say that good things come in small packages? What is something little that you think is great?
Zune I want one bad

Salad
Name a song that makes you want to dance.
Shake shake Senora

Main Course
What is your favorite font?
Comic

Dessert
If you were to write a do-it-yourself article, what would it be about?
holding your tounge to not upset people

Story so far...

2006-12-19T22:04:00.000-08:00

Well I did it I moved back to California. I have been back in Cali for over a month now and it has been lots of pain and stress. First off Ian's father had a heart attack on thanksgiving, I pulled my back the next week and then Ian got sick and was in the hospital for a week. They kept him that long through fear that he may reject his kidney.

I start work tomorrow at the YMCA as the BINGO Coordinater it is only a few hours a week but should be fun. Now I just need to finally get my paycheck from Florida and then find a full time job. Oh well

Feast One Hundred & Twenty One

2006-12-08T22:32:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
Which language would you like to learn and why?
I would love to learn Portugize because I cant spell it and someday I would love to go to Brazil

Soup
What's the funniest thing you've heard or read so far this week?
My bank statement

Salad
Which movie was so bad you couldn't watch the whole thing?
Napolean Dinomite

Main Course
If there were a holiday in your honor that didn't use your actual name, what would the day be called?
BetterOffDead A day for second chances

Dessert
Name one movie which is coming out soon that you would like to see.

Feast One Hundred & Nineteen

2006-11-24T12:03:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
Have you ever changed a flat tire by yourself?
More then I care to remember

Soup
Do you have an "innie" or an "outie" belly button?
Innie

Salad
Name a new paint color and describe it.
Midnight Hot Pink - The florescent pink that is so dark it is almost black

Main Course
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
seeing friends

Dessert
If you were a cookie, what kind of cookie would you be, and why?
Oreo because it is what is inside that counts

Feast One Hundred & Seventeen

2006-10-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Create a new candle scent.
Sawdust

Soup
Name one way you show affection to others.
I help out when ever I can

Salad
What is your favorite writing instrument?
pen and paper

Main Course
If you were given $25 to spend anywhere online, from which site would you buy?
ebay

Dessert
Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what are you going to be?
nope or at least I dont think so

Feast One Hundred & Sixteen

2006-10-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
What is your favorite beverage?
Kool-aid black cherry

Soup
Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.
my mouse and my 2 screens

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are?
7

Main Course
If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why?
Los Banos CA it needs to be something other then the bathroom

Dessert
What stresses you out? What calms you down?
I dont really get stressed out anymore, not sure why but I just dont let things get to me.

Its been a while but here

2006-10-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Feast One Hundred & Fifteen

Appetizer
Approximately how many hours per week do you spend reading other blogs?
maybe 3 or 4

Soup
Your community wants everyone to give one thing to put into a time capsule. What item would you choose to include?
sunglasses just to see how they change

Salad
What is the most interesting tourist attraction you've ever visited?
well I did stop at the large Paul and Babe carvings in northern CA

Main Course
If you could give an award to anyone for anything, who would it be and what would the award be titled?
It would go to all my friends for having to put up with me

Dessert
What do you think your favorite color reveals about your personality?
just how bi-polar I am they are hotpink and midnight blue

My Fathers Gone

2006-08-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

Okay let me first say I know tragedy strikes everyone. And the news I received I have been expecting for a while now.

My father has passed away. He has had MS since I was 2. He was never a fighter and gave up when he got the news. My entire life I have watched my father decline in his mobility. By the time I was in the 7th grade he was completely in a wheel chair. My brothers and I made a play day when ever he would get the new model chair we would play in the old one outside, seeing how fast we could roll down the street.

When I was in high school, my father’s memory was going to the point he had no short term memory, not that me and my brother used this. “Yes Mom I told Dad where I was going.”

I haven’t seen my father in years, the last time I saw him, he was a shell, trapped in the mind but unable to move or even talk. At least now he is out of that torture.

Feast One Hundred & Six

2006-08-11T18:07:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.
I remember having lots of transformers the old ones are always the best.

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?
money

Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?
You all can kiss my ass, you thing I am single and I think of my lack of other alot.

Main Course
What is something you believe in 100%?
The sun

Dessert
Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."
I helped a guy whos car had died.

Always reviewing

2006-08-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

First off why does it always seem like I am always analyzing my life and where I fit in? Lately I have been finding people from my past, people who I haven’t spoken to or seen in around ten years. It is a need to see where people have ended up. Old crushes and the path that it might have lead. Thinking of reasons for why I made the choices I did, and the fear of how easy it is for me to find these people. I need to get my P.I.’s license. The friends that I have found seem happy and I wonder if my dictions had been different would that be different now?

Feast One Hundred & Five

2006-08-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
Tim Curry he is brillant

Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
A esquipedalist is a person who uses big words

Salad
What is something inanimate that you've given a name to (such as a pet rock)?
My jeep is named Swindler

Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?
blue

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: ________Vacations___ are so ___short_________.

California Review

2006-08-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

Okay as many of you know I have spent the last two weeks in California using my ten year reunion as a reason to go back. During the whole planning stage of my trip I wasn’t excited, nervous, or even really looking forward to it. I had become so numb and if anything was worried about the friends I had lost touch with and how crappy a friend I had been.

I had arrived in San Francisco just past midnight on the 15th, yep my birthday and I was back in Cali for the first time in more then two years. I headed to Humboldt first and found that although times change and the place was filled with memories that I could go a long time with out stirring, I had the best birthday I have had in a long time. I went to see Pirates had dinner but it was the fact that I was with people who truly care about me and I them that had been missing in my life for a long time.

When I got to Hanford a few days later I found out something that I had forgotten a long time ago. I had a family even though I wasn’t related to one of them. Catching up with old friends, making old jokes, talking about the future, and sitting around just playing video games, it was simple things but they are always the things that mean the most.

The reunion was less then I expected but then I did try to help the DJ he just didn’t want help, even though he didn’t know the system. I won two gag awards, the yahoo who came the farthest to be there, and the person who has lived in the most places. I was at about 15 with the closest person behind me was 7 I think no matter what I will always win that one. The best part was after the reunion; we went to chili’s and just sat around catching up. These were the people that I had spent so much time with in High School and it reminded me how special each person was, and how I would love to have them back in my daily life.

I then went to Southern California and visited some friends but next time I would love to see more. Things just didn’t work out the way I hoped, although going to Santa Barbara did remind me why I like college towns.

After everything in those busy two weeks I realized something, I want to go back. It will take me some time to save but I plan to move back to California and try to find a theater job in Fresno. Hey I have to go back to see everyone else. Again thanks to everyone for the reminder.

Feast One Hundred & Two

2006-07-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.
Call to let them know I care

Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?
It has been a long time

Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?
I go to myspace alot

Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?
the Beatles

Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?
none that I know of

Feast One Hundred!

2006-06-30T18:44:00.000-07:00

Feast One Hundred!

Woohoo! One Hundred Feasts!

Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?
okay only a guess I never counted but 15

Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?
Going to San Fransisco with AP Economics

Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely _____Tired and busy____ this week.

Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word "soothing"?
blueish green

Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?
a new transmission for my car yeah

Moving Right Along

2006-06-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

Well I get to be one of the lucky ones and move again. Yup I am moving to Largo Florida. It is just south of Clearwater and only about thirty miles away. It just seems like I am always moving.

Feast Ninety-Nine

2006-06-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you like your job?
Well I was told today that I am being transfered but if I was to rate my current boss it would be a 3

Soup
When was the last time you think you were lied to?
Any time I was told something by said boss

Salad
Share some lyrics from own of your favorite songs.
You could be happy and I wont know

Main Course
What do you do/take when you are in pain?
I keep going with my knees and back I am in constant pain and drug dont work with me

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: My jeep is very fun to ride in.

Feast Ninety-Eight

2006-06-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
What is a word that you use that would not be considered common?
groovy

Soup
What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
Hooters girls, hey I am a single guy.

Salad
Name 3 people you speak with by telephone a regular basis.
Sharon, Steve, Allison

Main Course
If you could buy a new outfit for someone you know - who would it be and what would you purchase for them?
Myself because my clothes are old and mostly used for work

Dessert
What is the last beverage you drank?
a Pepsi

Feast Ninety-Seven

2006-06-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
About how much money did you spend on gas this week?
about 30 didnt drive much

Soup
What is your favortite brand of toilet paper?
whatever is on sale doesnt really matter

Salad
When was the last time you discovered something that you thought was pure genius?
you mean I can sleep during the day and it is called a nap, brillant!!

Main Course
What is the least amount of sleep you can get by on per night?
Well this week I have been getting about an hour or so and it sucks

Dessert
June is a popular month for weddings. Do you know anyone who is getting married this month?
Nope

Feast Ninety-Six

2006-06-03T19:10:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how funny do you think you are?
8 I am always laughing mostly at stupid things in my head

Soup
Name a local restaurant would you recommend to a visitor to your town or city.
Pizzavilla is pretty good lots of pasta

Salad
What's a lesson you were lucky enough to learn the easy way?
life is hard, oh wait

Main Course
Where would you like to be 5 years from now?
married

Dessert
If you could see the front page of a newspaper from June 2, 2106, what would you imagine the headline might be?
What were they thinking a hundred years ago, what idiots.

Feast Ninety-Five

2006-05-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
How old were you when you got your first credit card?
27 and I wish I still waited

Soup
When was the last time you felt out of place?
you mean besides every morning when the guys from work gather and I am the only one not speaking spanish

Salad
Did you have a curfew when you were a teenager? If so, what time did you have to be home?
Nope no curfew I was just told to be smart

Main Course
Name a person from history with whom you feel you have something in common.
I dont know there arnt many losers that we know about

Dessert
When you read a newspaper, which section do you go for first?
comics

Feast Ninety-Two

2006-05-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
From which country(s) are some (or all) of your ancestors?
Ireland, Scotland, and England

Soup
How would you describe your sneeze?
bothersome

Salad
What is the last thing you cleaned?
dishes

Main Course
Who made the strongest first impression on you?
Jessica, she has an air around her of calm and brillance that was striking

Dessert
Name one thing you want to accomplish in your lifetime.
find love

Feast Ninety-One

2006-04-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you?
I will go with a 7

Soup
What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
Me trying to explain things to the guys at work who dont speak english

Salad
Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Duh Batman

Main Course
Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had.
Mr Cavilaro, not only was he funny with jumping on desks at any minute but he was kind and caring about his students, People like him are what I enjoyed in school.

Dessert
Complete this sentence: I strongly believe that ______________________.
Love will find a way.

Feast Ninety

2006-04-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
List 3 things you keep putting off.
get out more, finding a date, and working on my resume

Soup
What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
Making my life what it should be instead of what it is

Salad
If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
Back to the Future, I love the car

Main Course
What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
Living on my own would be wonderful and I could do anything I wanted

Dessert
When was the last time you had your car serviced?
I work on my jeep every few days

Feast Eighty-Nine

2006-04-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
What movie soundtracks do you own?
Yeah like that would be a short list I own a few hundred cds and a lot are soundtracks. The ones that stick out in my mind are Garden State, great one, Rent, Daredevil.

Soup
How much cash do you usually carry with you?
Around 50

Salad
Are you more comfortable around men or women? Why?
I would say women I have alot of female friends, although if I like them then I am uncomfortable but that is just nerves

Main Course
What is the most mischievous thing you remember doing as a child?
I plead the 5th

Dessert
Who is the funniest member of your family?
being as I dont talk to my family, their choice not mine, I wouldnt know.

Feast Eighty-Eight

2006-04-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Name a trait you share with your parents or your children.
I am good with electronics just like my father

Soup
List 3 qualities of a good leader, in your opinion.
1 being able to listen to others point of veiw
2 being able to put a plan in motion
3 being able to admiy when they are wrong

Salad
Who is your favorite television chef?
Alton Brown

Main Course
Share a story about a gift you received from someone you love.
Lasr year for my birthday Jeanne got me some cool belts and a pair of pants that are my right size, and being that I am a 30 lenght it is sometimes hard to find.

Dessert
How do you react under pressure?
I get very calm and logical

Feast Eighty-Seven

2006-03-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
Name 3 things that you think are strange.
1. How Bush is still president
2. People who think Will Ferel and Ben Stiller are funny
3. My life

Soup
What was the last ceremony you attended?
My friend Billy's wedding back last August

Salad
What is one lesson you have learned in the past year?
Life is nothing if you dont take chances

Main Course
Tell us about one of your childhood memories.
Being woken up at 5am to go feed the cows and having my best friends older sister teach me how to drive stick

Dessert
If you could extend any of the four seasons to be twice as long as normal, which season would you want to lengthen?
Fall love the color in the leaves and the humiotity is livable

Feast Eighty-Six

2006-03-24T14:14:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
How would you describe your personal comfort zone?
Huh? If you mean how comfortable I am around others, it depend on the person I am with. I feel totally comfortable around most of my friends

Soup
What is your favorite tree?
Well I did spend 5f years in Humboldt county so I will go with the redwood

Salad
List 3 foods you'd like to include in your dinner plans for tonight.
Chiken, peas and patatos

Main Course
What is the best advice you've ever been given, but didn't heed?
She will hurt you

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how much attention do you feel comfortable receiving from others?
5 I like to stay mid ground

Stolen From Tish

2006-03-21T14:34:00.000-08:00

Choose a band or artist and answer the following questions using only their song titles.

Choose a band/artist: Weezer
Are you male or female? American Gigalo
Describe yourself: Why Bother
How do some people feel about you? Pardon ME
Describe your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend: Say it aint so
Describe your current crush: Only in dreams
Describe how you love: Love Explosion
Where you want to be right now? Island in the sun
What would you ask for if you had one wish? O Girlfriend
Share a few words of wisdom: This is such a pity
Where do you live? In the garage
Now say goodbye: Peace

Roommates Bugging

2006-03-19T17:04:00.000-08:00

It has seemed like life has been moving at an outrages pase theses last few months, between moving, starting a new job and everything else I have just been tired and wanting to relax at the house. My roommate think of my homebodyness as me being depressed. Sorry no. Yeah I have depression. But I know when I am depressed and me sitting at home watching good tv and movies is not me being depressed. I think the thing that pissed one of them off is the fact that I have the only car in the house and one of the had the wonderful idea of going to a mall on Saterday. What he learned is that the closest mall is about 30 miles away. And the only reason he wanted to go there was to get out of the house. Take a walk, ride my bike, I am not driving thirty miles because you are bored. Sorry about this complaining but I needed to get it out. He is 36 and has been acting like a child sinse he told me I was extremly depressed and I told him no I am relaxing. The thing is right now with my life I am happy. I have a good job and a nice place to live. Yeah I would like to have more company of the female perswation but it is something that will happen with time. And it is something I can not rush.

Feast Eighty-Five

2006-03-17T13:41:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
What job would you definitely not want to have?
Well I have heard some bad stories of a night Janitor at the morge

Soup
Oprah calls and wants you to appear on her show. What would that day's show be about? Rebuilding your life and trying to find ones self

Salad
Name 3 vegetables that you eat on a regular basis. Beans, Corn, and Patatos

Main Course
If you were commissioned to rename your hometown, what would you call it? The Black hole of dispair, California

Dessert
If you had a personal assistant, what kind of tasks would you have them to do? HEE HEE oh wait are we thinking clean here, dang it.

Feast Eighty-Four

2006-03-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how intuitive do you think you are? 7 I am good with things that dont deal with me directly, Like I never know when I girl likes me, but so is life.

Soup
What is your favorite kind of gum? Orbits

Salad
Name a CD you own that you would never get rid of. Garden State soundtrack it is great

Main Course
When was the last time you said something you didn't mean? it has been some time I have been trying to think of my words before I let them out.

Dessert
What is the sum of the numbers in your birthdate? (Example: 3 + 2 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 9 = 31) 42

Friday's Feast # 83

2006-03-06T15:01:00.000-08:00

Appetizer - How many pillows and blankets do you sleep with? Two blankets and four pillows, two normal one body and one moshi

Soup - What are you currently "addicted" to? House it is a great show

Salad - If you could make a small change to your current routine or schedule that would make you just a little bit happier, what would it be? It would be nice to only have to go the the store once a week, This everyother day thing sucks

Main Course - Which adjective do you find yourself using often? Cool

Dessert - Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker? No just not something I do.

My Movie Of The Week

2006-03-05T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well okay this is because there have been so many people who have found me or that I have found them in the last month or so that I have decided to write out my story for the last sixteen months or so. Most people have been asking me the same questions, like how did you end up in Florida, what brought you there, and of course what have you been up to? I hope this answers any questions and if it opens any up feel free to ask. I am sending this out by email and on myspace so if you are on both, just think, you get two of me, and no it is not like a clone. If it has been sometime since I have contacted you first off I am sorry but if you are getting this it means that I do care for you and I am sorry I have been crappy with time management and I hope to do better in the future.

Let’s start with the big question why did you go to Florida, simple escape. September 2004. On the 26th Jeanne broke up with me. Why, many things, time, life, those damn magazines got in the way. Just kidding, it was a time in both of our lives when things weren’t going the way we wanted them to. I was suffering from depression and wasn’t doing anything about it. I could sit here all day and say it was my fault or hers but the truth is it was both. At the same time this was happening I was reconnecting with an old friend Bill, who had started a television production company and he wanted to hire me as a producer. It was a decision that I was taken time with and it was until I discovered something that I made my choice. Jeanne was ready to date other people and I wasn’t ready for it, heck I am still not ready for it, but she has a new boyfriend now. It is something I have to accept, I may still be in love with her, heck I may always be and because of that I want her to be happy. If nothing else in this world come true for me I want her to be happy, and I hope she know that if she ever needs me for anything I will always be there for her. Our time is done and gone and I am grateful for every day I had, thank you.

Okay what brought you to Florida, another simple one, my jeep. Like I said I was escaping to work as a producer. True I had no clue what I was getting in to or even how to be a producer. The company being a new one was running paid programming. Basically we get companies to pay us to run TV spots about there product or hotel, resort, and so on. Well it was a good plan we even aired a show. True all the work was done before I joined the company and we were looking for companies to buy into our next two shows, and then strange things started to happen. We would have companies ready to sign the participation agreements and then we couldn’t get them back on the phone. We were bugged and being sabotaged, I with the company a little over a month when we had to close the office. We ended up working from home and I got a night job working for a compound pharmacy. (We sold steroids and human growth hormone) I was working 80 hrs a week and only getting paid from one job. At one point I had worked three months with out a day off.

The day Star Wars came out in the theaters my transmission died. It was popping because the gears were out of alignment. I had a choice to make go get the rest of my stuff from Tennessee or get my transmission fixed. I went back to Tennessee. I spent a few days visiting my friends at the end of June and taking a break for all the crap I was dealing with at work. It was nice to get away if even for a little while and I got to see my pets again, I do miss them incredibly.

When I got bake to work I had found out that the pharmacy had lost its pharmaceutical license. I was back a week before they closed their doors. So with the TV Company basically dead and the drug company likewise I was looking for a new gig. I had applied for a couple theater jobs and was told I was to overqualified. Sorry I like to eat I would take the job that is why I applied for it. But then I got a call back from the pharmaceutical company was opening back up and they wanted me back but as a day time guy, so I said okay. I start back at the beginning of August. I was there a few days and they hired a new receptionist who I thought was very attractive, and I finally got the guts to ask her to Billy’s wedding. I thought it was a date, everyone I talked to thought it was a date, but she didn’t think it was a date. (Found this out later) We went out a few other times, went to a friend’s bar-b-q and went to her family’s bar-b-q where her dad gave me “the talk”. We were hanging out a lot and talking on the phone a lot and we finally had the talk were she told me I was her best friend. Oh and she had feelings for someone else.

Okay now for the “Oh Crap You Have Got To be Kidding Me” part. There was a guy at the drug company named Al. My first thoughts of Al were that he was a slimy guy who I couldn’t stomach; right now I am warning everyone to go with their gut. It wasn’t until him and I got transferred over to the doggy pills that I started really talking with him. He was starting up a development company and was going to build a golf course with a residential community surrounding it. He already had the land and the money for it he just needed help. He was going to pay me and the other partner Kirk a crap load of money per year and buy us company cars; I was getting an 06 Saleen. Over time things started becoming apparent; his appointments never came through, heck nothing ever came through, oh and he was the “someone else”. Over the period of three months everything this guy told us was a lie. Oh and when ever him and the girl had a fight he would get a health disorder. It started out with a mild heart attack, then escalated to a clogged artery then he needed surgery then his chance of survival if he even had the surgery was below fifteen percent. And the entire time he was playing my feelings for her against me. One night he broke up with her through me and then said it was a joke and that was when his chance of survival was low and he was scared. First off if you are going to bullshit someone about a health issue make sure that someone knows nothing or little to nothing about said issue, My grandfather died of a heart attack, a guy at Dollywood had a heart attack while at work. He would complain about is arms or legs going dead where he could move or even feel them and then he wouldn’t want to go to the doctor for his problem. While this whole issue was going on he was buying a building for 3.1 million dollars. The hurricane Wilma hit and I was trapped with my new roommates Kirk and Leonard during the storm. It was more interesting then anything on television, of course the power was out so I couldn’t watch television even if I wanted to. The complex I was at was being converted from apartments to condos and there was tons of damage. A few days after we got power back me and Kirk went and got jobs with the construction company doing the work because Al’s lies had caught up to him and lawyers were going after him over the bad checks he wrote about the building, the girl had broken up with him, and no one was talking with him. By mid December he was back yes back in jail. He was on probation and had violated it by leaving the county. He will be in there for a year and a day unless they find out about any one of his lies and then they are locking him up for good.

Well me and Kirk had been doing the construction at our complex, we started out with about twenty guys on the job and it wound down to about four of us. I was averaging about 60 hours a week. But the job was coming to an end. Billy had been working for a real development company and they wanted to hire us. They need construction guy who spoke English, and at the beginning of February. We moved up to the Tampa area. I am living in Land O Lakes and on the job Kirk and I are the only two guys who speak English. For the most part they leave us to our own work and we make up our own work list. I am hoping to have my own place soon I have been working it out with management and it should be soon. The town house is on a lake and it is beautiful. Everything is moving in the right direction now I just need to find a date, the sad thing every yes every girl I have met in the past four months has either been married or has a boyfriend. Ian used to joke about the line “You married? Yeah. You faithful?” He never used it and neither have I. I hope that it will be soon but I know you can’t rush things like that so I just have to have let time take its course and see what tomorrow will bring.

Okay well hopefully this has answered some of your questions, and if you want to know anything more in detail just ask.

New Area

2006-02-19T15:28:00.001-08:00

I have been in the Tampa area for about two weeks now and it is so cool. The area fits my personality so much better the Ft Lauderdale, and the people here are so much more friendlier. The weather reminds me of Humboldt back in northern CA. Right now I am livling in Land O Lakes and my complex is right on a lake. The property manager baught a boat and said I can take it out any time. Oh and there is a theater in Tampa doing a bunch of one acts and the auditions are tomorrow so I will see what happens. But things are looking up.

Friday's Feast # 80

2006-02-13T16:38:00.000-08:00

Appetizer - What was a class or course you took while in school that you realize now was a total waste of time? Intro To Art ~ The Teacher didnt like me to beginf with because I drew a different way then he thought was correct.

Soup - Who is the tallest person you know? My brother Craig he is 6'7", how did I get the short gene?

Salad - What's your favorite midnight snack? Maybe a chocolate chip cookie

Main Course - Have you ever found money somewhere? If so, where did you find it, and how much was it? Last time I found money it was on one of my walks and it was about sixty bucks

Dessert - Where would you like to retire? Well being that I already live in Florida I would love to live in Seattle.

Moving Right Along

2006-01-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

Well today I got the call that they may need me in Tampa at the construction ste up there. It is good pay and they pay for rent. One of the reasons they need me oout there is because they need someone who speaks english. Hey with the money I will be saving iin rent I can start to rebuild my engine. YAY!! Okay that might be alittle sarcastic but it is something I need to do.. Someday everything will be in its place, when is the main question.

100 Things About Me

2006-01-15T21:56:00.000-08:00

Following Tish Here is my list

01. I am a mutt, I am German, Irish, Scottish, English, and a bunch of other ones.
02. I have two brothers (ages 25 and 23) and a sister (age 18).
03. I have no living grandparents.
04. I won and art contest in kindergarten to draw the school and was given some award by the superintendent
05. I wasn't in any clubs in high school.
06. I started dating Jeanne just before I turned 19.
07. She dumped me when I was 26.
08. I had two dogs. Max is a Manchester terrier and Gromit is a chuwawa
09. Jeanne has them both now.
10. I have had insomnia for ten years.
11. I have arthritis.
12. I work construction. Great for the hands
13. My dream is to someday own my own theater.
14. I listen to music all the time
15. I have always wanted to go sky diving.
16. I love to swim.
17. I desperately want to find love.
18. I am shy and quite.
19. I have always had lots of female friends and very few male friends.
20. I am always mistaken for someone else
21. I was named after my mothers brother who was killed by a drunk driver.
22. I collect swords and hate guns.
23. I don't keep in touch with any family members they think I abandoned them and wont talk with me.
24. I love black cherry kool-aid.
25. I'm not a big fan of chocolate.
26. I have not had the holiday spirit for over 15 years.
27. I not made up my mind on if I want children or not.
28. I fear that I may never find love.
29. I have knees that dislocate.
30. I cant stand reality TV.
31. I drive a red 1990 Jeep Wrangler Islander, it is a beast.
32. My first car was a 1988 ford ranger extended cab.
33. I got a 96 on my drivers test, the first time I took it.
34. I have been collecting comics since 94.
35. I haven't bought one in over a year.
36. I love poetry mostly Pablo Neruda.
37. I am liberal.
38. I cant stand most Rebulicans
39. I really really really hate Dubya.
40. I have had a comic strip for nearly ten years called Better Off Dead. About me and my friends in High school.
41. I can draw nearly anything I can see, but it is impossible for me to draw from imagination.
42. I have been hit by three cars.
43. I can never fall asleep but once I am asleep I can rest.
44. I can not find a good calone for me.
45. I live with a real medium.
46. I worry that I'll spend the rest of my days alone.
47. I never partied much and I was always the one who took care of the drunk people.
48. I have never been drunk
49. I couldn't swallow pills until I was 20.
50. I haven't put up a Christmas tree in 2 years.
51. I don't like holidays
52. My favorite poem is Tonight I can write by Pablo Neruda. I have it committed to memory.
53. I love pulling practical jokes.
54. I am the one everyone goes to when they have any type of problem
55. I identify way too much with the character of Batman
56. I a scar across three fingers where a cook can at me with a knife.
57. My favorite fruit is strawberry.
58. I am not religious.
59. I have managed to remain friends with both of my exes.
60. I have only dated 2 women.
61. I have been in one automobile accident. I totaled my 2003 PT cruiser. I hydroplaned into a tree.
62. I was once threatened with jail for excessive speeding.
63. I sometimes have psychic dreams.
64. I have seen ghosts.
65. I am dyslexic and cant spell wearth a damn.
66. I love candles and incense.
67. I found my cat in a tree that my dog Max was barking at.
68. Jeanne has him too.
69. I have never met someone on-line
70. I once taught my friend trig and calculus without ever taking the classes.
71. My first job was at Little Ceasers.
72. When I was in high school, I dreamed of becoming comic artist
73. I've had a one date this last year and she didn't know it was a date.
74. I cant stand Will Ferral.
75. I can dance if you teach me but on my own I suck.
76. My favorite movies are back to the future.
77. I was haunted in my high school theater by a ghost.
78. I have been hit on by many gay men.
79. I am not gay.
80. My calendar didn't have any smiley faces last year.
81. I hate spiders.
82. I use to suffer from depression. Now I enjoy it.
83. I am a very sentimental person. I always keep cards, notes, and letters that I receive. Ticket stubs too!
84. I can tell you exactly how long I have dated some one.
85. My best friend still lives in California and I still talk with him a bunch.
86. I love to sing.
87. I was offered a job singing at Dollywood.
88. I subscribe to several magazines.
89. My father was in the navy.
90. I love to act.
91. I want to take up ninjitsu.
92. I have my tongue pierced.
93. I have had a crush on Teri Hatcher since the 80's.
94. I have not been scared by a movie in over ten years.
95. I am far sighted.
96. I have one been to a stripclub once and I went with a female friend of mine.
97. I am two English classes away from my AA.
98. I'm a night owl.
99. I have never done drugs
100. My ten year reunion is coming up in July.

The Many Adventures Of Swindler

2006-01-10T20:42:00.000-08:00

Well first I should start off by telling you that swindler is the name of my jeep. He is named that because he has the aditude of a player. He will work great when ever a good looking woman is in him but runs like crap when it is just me or another guy.

Okay I put him is the shop a few months back to fix the transmission and the guy told me thaat my breaks were bad as well. I went and had them fixed. Then he charged me more then he told me to begin with. Right now my tranny is starting the same problem that I put it in for. My breaks barly work, my stearing is going out and my carberator is bad. Why is it that it came back from the shop in worst condition then when I put it in there?

Finally Getting the Jeep Back

2005-12-30T21:14:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I am finally getting my jeep back from the shop. It went in there with a few problems, bad tranny was the biggest and it has just taken time for me to get the cash and for them to finish the work. It has been so long since I have driven it I cant wait.

Work is slowing down even more now. There should be only a few more days of work here. I guess I will have to se what comes next.

Stupid Questions

2005-12-27T18:21:00.000-08:00

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?!

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get! the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, ! "that ought to taste good."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Another day in the life

2005-12-25T09:20:00.000-08:00

Is it a sad thing that the holidays has past me by and all it did was remind me how lonly I am . I know I dont need someone in my life to make me feel happy but not having anyone can show how alone one person can be. It doesnt help that my ex is with someone new, I do wish her the best I do, but I wonder why alot of times. It is one of those questions I guess I will never truly have the answer for.

Off the a bumpy start

2005-12-24T12:53:00.000-08:00

Well I have been on myspace for a while now and was looking for something new. A few of my friends are on this so I thought it sounded fun.

A bit about my life latly. I have been working construction at a condo convertion complex, not my first choice of jobs but it pays the bills and I am good at it. We started off with a crew of about 20 and now it is down to about six. All I need now is land and I can build my own house, but when would I find the time. I still need to find a girlfriend. All in good time I guess.